the art of assertiveness

                              

                                Standing up for ones right no 
                                matter what everThe situation 
                              is and  correcting the situation no

                                Matter what ever others feel.

                        A person who is assertive might be described as someone who:

• Expresses their views clearly and articulately without being aggressive
• Stands up for their own and other people's rights in a reasonable and clear way
• Allows other people a reasonable opportunity to express their opinions without allowing them to dominate a conversation
• Has the courage to express their own feelings, even about difficult issues, in a way which is respectful and honest.

                     The behavior of assertiveness is not followed by the feeling of guilt Or disapproval but is directed by the rational belief that I deserve to stand up for my rights

                                              Assertive skills

1: listening

1) let other know that you want to understand his point of view

2) now you have to understand what other is saying

3) let other know you have understood

2  nonverbal assertiveness

1)  1) eye contact

   Direct eye contact shows your assertiveness. Looking down while speaking to  another suggests timidity and weakens you in the eyes of others. Looking to the side as you speak suggests avoidance and insincerity

2)       2) facial expression

Action speaks louder than words. same is here. Our face tells others the degree to which we are alert, interested, in agreement, or relaxed. It reveals the types of emotions we feel. It is best to keep your facial expression as neutral as possible. 

3)     3) pouster

       a person who is confident sits straight alert  his head is high straight alert and his shoulders are upright while a stressed man shoulders are leaning downward and he is looking down showing his low self-esteem.

 When sitting, leaning forward slightly communicates interest and a sense of purpose. Leaning back communicates disinterest or disagreement. Crossing your arms and legs suggests a tense and closed attitude while uncrossed arms and legs suggests a relaxed and open attitude.

4)gestures

         Gestures can be used to accentuate and support your message or to distract and discredit. Nervous fidgeting and tense jerky movements are distracting. These types of gestures and movements make you look out of control and seriously diminish your persuasive power. If you have trouble controlling nervous and fidgety movements, channel your nervous energy by taking notes.

5)tone of voice;

       When we communicate  our voice tells a lot of how we are feeling an assertive person has a firm and solid voice.while a shaky voice describes  unconfident and nervous a harsh tone describe a person is aggressive Speak loudly and slowly enough to be heard and understood. It is also important to control how you end your sentences. Raising the pitch of your voice at the end of a sentence makes the sentence sound like question

    Don't Get Caught In These Traps 

There are several strategies that are commonly used to throw opponents off track. Just being aware these strategies will better prepare you to handle them if they are used.

 1) Emotional  blackmailing. an assertive person dose not become emotionally blackmail by others but stay positive and persist in his statements  and firm in his voice

 2)Creating Guilt  Often the other party will attempt to convince you that the problem is your fault of the product of your own doing, when in fact it is not. If you feel it is your fault, you will get caught in a guilt trap. If the other party is able to make you feel responsible for the problem, he or she is getting ready to convince you that you, and you alone, are responsible for the solution. Resist this common and usually effective diversionary strategy. Such transparent attacks are irrelevant and you should say so. Instead of falling into such obvious traps, calmly steer the conversation back to the point. 

    If you changes your mindset because of some put downs from other you will not be accepted by the same people who are violating you rights so stop becoming a toy in the hands of people and become aware of your rights and trust in yourself first