self development

    do not follow others let others follow you

When you build courage, you start to improve your personal life. Building courage will help you take risks to a brighter future that you ordinarily would not take. When you build courage, you put fear behind you. courage is the process of admitting that you have fears, yet you are willing to find a way to defeat those fears and not allow these fears to take control of you. It is ok to experience your fears at appropriate times. For instance, if a bus is heading in your path, swerving you have a right to fear. There is nothing wrong with healthy fear. The problem is you have to put healthy fear in its place and unhealthy fear out of your life. Once you build courage, you will learn to self-direct you in life. You will learn to accept punishment and rewards gracefully. A courageous person will often feel motivated to accept blame and responsibility while reviewing their actions and using what they learn to move forward. Courageous people will step to the front, rather than stepping bac...

Different governments, officials, environmental agencies exhort us to conserve the energy we use in order to save the environment and sustain our continued existence on the planet. On a personal level I think that we also need to know how to conserve, focus and maximise our own personal supply of energy. We unconsciously dissipate and waste our energy on people, situations, thoughts, attitudes and events which do not serve us well. This leaves less space and energy for creating and attracting the kind of abundance that we want in our lives. Interestingly enough I've also found that as I conserve, focus and thereby maximise my energy, I tend to use less energy on craving and acquiring "stuff", but more energy focusing on what is truly important to me, thereby helping the environment. So here are 5 Ways to Maximise Your Personal Energy Supply. 1. Release Resistance Releasing resistance will affect a profound change in your level of energy and how you view the worl...

We’ve all experienced moments in our life when we hear ourselves say “YES” to a job, person or situation we know deep in our heart isn’t right for us. And still we do it. As soon as “yes” leaves our lips somewhere in us we hear a voice that screams “NO! Don’t do it!” but somehow another part of us kicks in and our mind overrules the wisdom of our body and we find ourselves on a path we never intended. Sometimes these wrong turns can be detrimental to our wellbeing. They cause stress and put us in danger of losing ourselves indefinitely. Other times we immediately realize our “yes” has led to an “o-oh” and we decide right then and there to go back to the beginning and start again. Either way, when you find yourself in a sticky situation, only you have the power to declare you took a wrong turn and only you can decide when it’s time to get back on track. These tips may help. Be honest with yourself. Admit, as quickly as possible, you made a choice that led you down the wrong path. ...

When you feel strongly about something with no logical basis for that feeling, it is called intuition. Intuition comes in three ways - clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening. Clairvoyance is when your mind goes outside of what it can see. This is when you recognize what is happening somewhere other than where you are. Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." These are the times when you are besieged with a feeling that you can't explain and all you can say is "I just know." This is the most commonly experienced type. On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling. This is not to be confused with auditory hallucinations, or hearing voices tellin...

1. Listen to and follow their intuition. They know how intuitions and insights come to them and are tuned-in internally to make wise decisions. 2. Are aware of who they are--- strengths, weaknesses, personality, values, etc. They know that the most important (and interesting) thing to know about is "self." 3. Reflect on and learn from past experiences, finding out what works and what doesn't, and then adjusts their course of action as needed. They think about things before jumping in, and also take the time after-the-fact to actively reflect to fully understand what happened or didn't happen. 4. Can easily entertain innovative ideas, thoughts, and ways of doing things. They long for progressive and forward thinking information, concepts, and people. They often come up with new and radical ideas on a regular basis. 5. Are open to different perspectives and see possibilities where most people don't. They are comfortable with paradoxes and can relate to ...

Goals are a great tool for motivation. But if you don't use them correctly, they can also be a source of frustration. Goals are only empowering if they are used properly. So how do you make a goal into something that is a benefit for you? Goal-setting strategies are important especially for to help you create the type of success you desire and deserve. Here are five goal-setting techniques to help you realize them. 1. Balance Your Goals: In your life you will have personal development goals, personal finance goals and things goals. Don't neglect any of them. It is ok to want things, but don't forget to balance those pursuits with your own growth as a person. All of these goals are important so be clear about all of them and make them real for you. 2. Plan Actions From Your Goals: Goals are not items for your to do list. Your goal is what you are striving for. Plan specific actions that lead you towards those goals. Use the goals to provide your compass for those actio...

Life is full of ups and downs and sometimes has a few sideways thrown in too. When things go wrong or don’t go as planned, or when something happens to throw us off balance and doubt ourselves it can be tough to deal with. After all, we all want things to go well and to end up as ‘winners’. But life will always throw challenges at us, and we can’t control everything. Nor should we try. It’s not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you that makes the difference. Here are three easy ways that you can always come out on top. 1. Focus on Your Strengths We’re a bunch of contradictions – sorry to break it to you. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad; sometimes hopeful, sometimes pessimistic; sometimes childish and sometimes mature. We also have a whole load of strengths and weaknesses that affect what we do and how we do it, but tend to put more focus on our weaknesses and not our strengths. A strength is something that you do consistently well or at a near-perfect level ...

It took me years to acknowledge that I was a People Pleaser.  I am shifting away from that pattern of behavior and find great relief and satisfaction in the change.  Here I am, an independent, successful woman with a mind of my own.  How could I be a People Pleaser?  Another term to describe this pattern is compliance, and that says more to me regarding my actions.  I would consistently avoid conflict, ignore what I didn't agree with,and do lots of good deeds which would boost my worth.  I was mostly nice, except for times of exploded emotion in an attempt to deal with conflict.  I did not speak my mind even though I knew what I thought.  What I didn't know so well was what I felt, what my needs were and how to express them. The moment I discovered I was a People Pleaser was on my birthday last year.  A close friend and my husband helped me to celebrate the day.  After a leisurely brunch, I said to them, 'What would you like to do toda...

 there’s an idealized picture of what a well-balanced life looks like and then there’s reality. So, be aware of the following myths and then go about creating a life that feels great to you and you’ll finally, fortunately, find balance. 1. Balance is a one-time event. If only! First, let me say, unequivocally, balance is not something we arrive and stay at. Balance is dynamic. Ever-changing. Moving. In order to balance a bicycle you need to keep it moving; to keep your life in balance you’ve got to keep it moving. And when you move anything there’s a chance for error. Crashing. Tipping over. However, the alternative isn’t better. If we stay still, we run the danger of getting stuck in a rut. Trapped too long in our fears. Without movement we stop growing. We stop experiencing new things. We just stop. Therefore, if we yearn for a well-balanced life we have to get moving AND toughen up. We’re going to get bumped and bruised along the way. And that’s OK, because each bump and...

your mind, what does Living Well mean to you? Does it mean you have plenty of money to do whatever you want? Does it mean you get to spend your time as you wish? Does living well conjure up the image of beautiful cars and homes and luxurious vacations? As they say, if you can dream it you can achieve it. However, a vivid imagination in and of itself does not lead to getting what you want. You also have to take supportive, concrete actions. In order to live well, it may be necessary for you to do some things differently then you're doing today. Below is a list of three key points to keep in mind if you have the desire to live well but have no idea how to actually start doing so. 1. Learn How to Live Well If you've never actually lived well, it may seem like a big leap to do so. But what if you could learn how to live well? You can! There are dozens, if not hundreds of books, CD's and other helpful sources of information which will teach how to get what you want. In f...

There are all kinds of strategies, ways of thinking, patterns of behavior and practical tips for improving your life and feeling better about yourself, but they're all redundant if the foundation isn't there. That foundation is the real you, the you that you know deep down you are. The trick is that it takes confidence to find that and to bring out who you are – here are the three keys to real inner confidence. 1. Get To Know Your Values Personal values are a big passion of mine and I often get carried away with myself when I talk about them. I make no apology for that though – they’re one of the most important things you can know about yourself and are vital in getting genuine inner confidence. Your values are ten thousand feet down inside you, right at the very core of who you are; and they’re the building blocks, the foundations and cornerstones for you. A value is something in yourself, in others or in the world that’s most important to you, and could include things lik...

Committed to changing your life? Congratulations! But don’t be surprised when people start offering you advice and opinions on what you should and should not do. The following tips will help you navigate your way through the abundance of opinions you’re sure to face on your way to creating a life you love. 1. Feedback is always given through the eyes of the giver. Have you ever noticed how some people state their opinion or give their feedback, as if they have all the answers? To endure any kind of feedback, especially the unsolicited and unkind, one of the most empowering things you can do is ask the question: Is the feedback being given based on fact, or personal opinion? Feedback based on fact is inarguable. If you have blue eyes and someone states that you have blue eyes, there’s no wiggle room. The fact is, you do have blue eyes and anyone can tell by looking at you that you have blue eyes. On the other hand, if someone states you have beautiful eyes, the door is wid...

You hear it all the time; “follow your dream”, “discover your dream”, “dreams do come true”. The way people talk about LIVING YOUR DREAM, it’s as if everyone must have one! I think they do, which means I think YOU do! So, if in fact the rather bold statement I just made is true, how do you go about bringing your dream to light? These tips will help. 1. ALLOW yourself to dream. We STOP dreaming because at some point in our life we were told the dream we had was unrealistic. And after hearing it enough times from others we started believing it too. A dream that once felt so good to think about and seemed so possible to achieve, suddenly left us feeling silly for ever having it. So we did the only thing we could do, we packed our dream(s) safely away, not to be shared again. Just because your dream is packed away for safe keeping, doesn’t mean it no longer exists. In fact, it might be the thing that keeps trying to get your attention! If you’ve ever had a notion there was “more” t...

Watch TV, open the newspaper, listen to the radio, or visit news sites on the Internet and you’ll immediately notice that the amount of human failure and disaster one is exposed to is disheartening. If you are like me, you may find yourself avoiding these sources of news and “entertainment” because you can’t stand the amount of negativity that infiltrates your mind and harmfully impacts your energy-state! Not surprisingly, much of the negativity in the world is sourced from people having an unhealthy, low level of self-esteem. Shocking, extensive research shows that over 85% of the world’s population has some type of deficiency in their level of self-esteem. Low self-esteem causes feelings of discomfort, unhappiness, anger, fear, procrastination, frustration, shyness and incapability. This array of negative thought processes and sensations causes people to look for artificial ways to cover up their lack of confidence by taking on forced or unnatural behaviors. Three of the most comm...

You love each other but can’t manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love? How come we can’t express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again. How to stop this infernal behavior? First let me explain why this happens. We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition… We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society. But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human bein...

Do you know that you are emitting signals that the universe responds to? It's like we're all emitting radio signals that go out into the universe and match us up with anything on the same wavelength, bringing to us the circumstances and events which make up our lives. The signals you emit are made up of your thoughts, beliefs, and the emotions that these create within you. You're experiences tend to match what you've got your focus upon. You do have the power to affect your experiences by paying attention to what you focus upon. This is where your power is. If you are focused upon the negative aspects of your experience, you will create more of the same, which you then focus on and create more of, and so on in a vicious cycle. Fortunately, this works the other way around too! If you choose to focus on the positive aspects of any experience, you will create more positive aspects you can then focus on, and continue bringing more positive experiences into your ...

It might take a little coffee when it comes to relaxing after a hard day's work. Well, yeah I'm guilty about that one as well, unless I'm caught dead wearing a lampshade over my head after a few rounds of vodka… half-naked! Okay, bad example and I apologize to everyone reading this after getting nightmares about me in that state of drunken stupor. Just don't ask how it happened, please. But what's really interesting is that how do people go through the usual part of life when faced with vein-popping stress? I mean, the new age thing like Zen or yoga is one of the good things and it actually works. Is there room for the intellectual side of people who can actually smell the roses-in-a-can while on the move? It kind of had me thinking that there really must be something in this 'mind-over-matter' thing. Humor is indeed the best medicine there is whenever you are. I mean anyone can pay good money to listen to a comedian just to make you wet your pants aft...

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a basketball team with a man/woman shouting out directions? Or perhaps a football team with a man/woman pacing to and fro and calling out the names of the players? Coaching is no longer reserved to sports teams; it is now one of the key concepts in leadership and management. Why is coaching popular? Coaching levels the playing field. Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. Moreover, it is a behavior or role that leaders enforce in the context of situational leadership. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization. This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work together. In a group of individuals, not everyone may have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to a goal. A group m...